In July 2013, I started to actively enjoy the fun of Twitter. I met many wonderful tweeps, who are still to this day, my actual friends. At the inception of my blog up until October 2014, I self-rehabilitated myself to work through the emotional aspect of being a Domestic Violence (DV) survivor (mild physically, major emotionally). I tweeted, thought, wrote, and voiced my inner thoughts/monologue into cyber space as a healing process. Through this process, I learned, made new friends, laughed and started to believe life has indeed only begun to be a ‘Beautiful Life’.
Let me share some things I learned from my interactions on Twitter and Blogging:
Kindness, respect and understanding should be universal in everyone’s being. We are not here to speak, act or believe what others think we should. We are in this life for our own intentions, happiness and beliefs. However, the choice to fuel this is each individual’s and we can only hope that we each use goodness, courtesy and selflessness to live. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all had this mindset? Pretty amazing it would be, I think.
Individuality is not a negative thing. Be who you want to be without worrying what anyone but YOU thinks. What some other person random or not thinks of you means nothing. It is their opinion that they are entitled to, so let them think and be opinionated as they wish. If it is good, then good fills them. If it is not good, then not goodness fills them. Not you. Also consider it in reverse, it is key to be able to let things roll off your back. I have begun to realize I have the ability to control my emotions and thoughts about all of this and it has been a wonderful milestone. This mindset will push you to the next level of well-being and the ability to make the right choices for YOU. There is a learning curve, so don’t beat yourself up if it takes years to “get”. I know it took me years!
There are times to make changes in your life. Be wary of stagnation and complacency. If you don’t like change, learn to. A business cannot thrive if they don’t change the way they do things if business is not going the way they want, as is a person’s life. It’s like watching television, if you don’t like the show that is on whether it’s boring, upsets you, or is not interesting, you CHANGE the channel. Same with life. It does not mean change your job every time you feel derailed or change boyfriend/girlfriend because you’re bored with them. It means, look at YOURSELF and change the things about you that will in turn change the situation you are in, in a positive way. If you point the finger at yourself always, or always look in the mirror when you feel things are not ‘going your way’ or ‘life sucks’, you will learn to make changes in the way YOU think, act, feel, behave that will get you where you need to be. And again, not a quick thing to learn or master. Give yourself the time to grow. A redwood tree as majestic as it is, does not just appear that way. It took time. You CAN do this. I know, because I’ve done it. It’s taken me 18 months to learn all that you’re reading about in this post. It CAN be done.
While I will not be as active as I once used to be on Twitter or my blog (as you probably already noticed), I will try to stay ‘connected’ as much as life will allow. I’ll be tweaking my Twitter handle and blog name a bit to tone down the ‘shock’ of the all in fun name of “Toaster Cum Ass” (although keeping it in my Bio). I would like to be worry-free of virtual, fun me and real/professional me crossing cyber paths and raising eyebrows in the professional realm to allow for my real/professional self to continue to grow, develop and accept presented opportunities. Very recently in my current job, new responsibilities and inclusion in a corporate video that will be accessible globally is definitely something to give courtesy to in regard to my company’s reputation and expanding potential as well as paving my road for a long-term and successful career path. In addition, being a Board Member of a non-profit should also be given that same courtesy to ensure the success of their mission.
This is not a goodbye, rather the closing of a chapter in the Book of My Life as “TCA”, the lost soul, needing direction, guidance, a chance to be free and the true person she is. Almost like graduating high school and moving onto college. I will be away, learning, growing, living life to its fullest. Remember this though, you all made this happen for me - my Twitter followers and my blog readers. The teeny percentage of ‘not so cool’ interactions has been muted by the magnitude of respect, love, admiration, care and understanding of many of you male and female tweeps alike. This has given me courage, more compassion and drive to continue to be who I want to be thereby doing things that make me happy and that are in the best interest of me and my life and overcome the experience of DV. I am merely shifting efforts from personal rehab to professional/personal motivation and determination. My treatment has been successful, thanks to you. I truly have a place in my heart for all of you who have been on this journey with me these several months. I miss you when I'm away. I really do. Keep in touch!
Soja - "I believe"
